• High Hats and Parasols, October 11th, 2012

    The Shah is terrified
    Once, while visiting, the Shah of Persia expressed a wish to know something of Professor Curie’s famous discovery, radium.  Mr. M. Paeil made the necessary arrangements with the good Professor Curie.  Complete darkness is, of course, needed if radium is to reveal itself in all its brilliancy.  With endless trouble, Paeil persuaded the monarch to descend into one of the hotel’s cellars that had been arranged specifically for the purpose because of the total darkness to be achieved.
    There, the party beheld a strange vision.  Professor Curie closed the door and switched off the electric light and revealed his specimen of radium.  Suddenly a shout of terror sounded as if given out by a man being mercilessly murdered.
    Amid general excitement and consternation, the host groped in the darkness for the electric switch and turned on the light.  Then the group beheld a strange spectacle.  It was the prostate potentate with his arms around the neck of his valet, trying to pull him away from the faint glow of radium.  The Shah had his eyes scrunched shut, and was shouting at the top of his voice in Persian.  “There is danger here.  Come away!  Come away!”
    The switching on of the electric light canceled the Shah’s madness as if by magic.  Realizing the chagrin he had caused Professor Curie, the Shah tried to compensate the man of science by offering him the bestowal of an “office of state”.
    But the astute Professor Curie saw fit to decline … and would not agree to continue his demonstration of the uses of radium.  Professor Curie is known far and wide as an irascible chap always in a hurry.
    Those who would enjoy inviting Professor Curie to a Chautauqua, drop by the Review office and sigh a petition.

    No interview, but hot story
    Remember the recent visit of General J. Meyer, former commander of the Presidio?  The General told this story several times while here.  The Review tells it again.
    General J. Bingam of Pennsylvania, who was for many years the “father of the house”, served in Congress with General V. Meyer (now retired) of Presidio fame who, for years, represented a more or less peaceful district in the House.  These men are good friends, with the exception of one having served the Confederacy and the other the Union.  Leaving his post in Congress to take over management of the U. S. mint in San Francisco, General Bingham called upon a substitute to assume his duties in the Congress.
    Hurrying through Statuary hall, the “sub”, who was new to Washington, ran into General Meyer.  The statesman said he was a little grouchy and refused when asked for an interview, but the reporter insisted.  General Meyer suggested the reporter look up General Bingham and request an interview from his friend.
    When asked about that possibility, Bingham shouted: “I don’t care a —- about the Philadelphia mint, only the San Francisco mint.”  Bingham then tore himself away.
    The manuscript story the reporter sent to his newspaper that afternoon sizzled.  The Philadelphia paper ran his story on the front page.  There, the diatribe heralded to the world how profanely indifferent to the Philadelphia mint the Pennsylvanian General Bingham was.  It took Bingham several months to square himself with his constituents.
    It is rumored that Meyer grinned inwardly all the while. 1

    Pierce estate to be settled
    In the matter of the estate of Elias Pierce, deceased, notice is hereby given by the undersigned executor, Attorney E. S. Johnston, to all persons having claims against said deceased.  Exhibit your claims, accompanied by the appropriate vouchers, to the said executor at his law office in the Rowe building.  This notice posted by E. S. Johnston, executor of the estate.

    End of summer travel specials
    The Southern Pacific railroad invites you to enjoy the end of summer with an excursion rate, round-trip to principal eastern points.  All tickets will be honored through “Start-of-Travel” on October 31, 1912.  Sample prices: Omaha, $60.65; New Orleans, $70.56, Toronto, $96.35.  Contact E. Shillingsburg, passenger agent, at San Jose office.

    Snippets from around the area…

    • Consider McAuley’s sanatorium for rest of the nerves and treatment of all your ills.  Licensed nurses on duty around the clock.  Charged by the day, week, or month.  Managed by Dr. Martin McAuley, specialist in surgery and diseases of women.  Homoeopathist.  Connect with Main 124.
    • The Pacific Grove Review is prepared to furnish engraved calling cards on short notice at San Francisco prices.  If you have a plate, bring it to us.  If you are in need of a plate, we will prepare one for you.  Engraved wedding invitations also provided at “Big City” prices. 2

    And your bill amounts to …

    • Come by Charles F. Brown and view the new stock of fall and winter ready-to-wear clothing.  I am offering suits to the public at prices that have never before been quoted on the Monterey Peninsula.  I will give you 10% more value for 15% less cost.  Our top-of-the line cachet is the latest pattern in the newest style.  Comes with the new, adjustable shoulder.  Alteration is free.  Made with elder down.  $2.35 at 211 Grand avenue, Pacific Grove.
    • Professional card reading by Madame Myra Edwards.  Palms and cranium read, too.  Stop by 209B Forest avenue.  Let’s take a look into your future.  Specific questions answered.  $1.50 per reading.  Also, ask for professional nursing and housekeeping services.
    • No matter how badly soiled or worn they are, this new cleaning process will make your old duds look like new.  To introduce this wonderful “dry” process, we will clean and press a man’s or lady’s suit for $1 only.  Remember, you are getting a regular $2.50 job for just a dollar.  Leave or pick up clothing at cart in front of moving picture show on Lighthouse.
    • The grand Pacific Grove Hotel is kept open all the year more for the benefit of Pacific Grovians than for out-of-towners, therefore we earnestly solicit a liberal patronage from residents.  Come for Sunday dinners.  Tables can be reserved.  The rates are 50¢ for an all-you-can-eat breakfast, and 75¢ for an all-you-can-eat lunch.  Dinner with soup and dessert, $1.  Rooms are let at prices from $2.50 to $4.50 per day.  Weekly and monthly rates available.  You are cordially invited to personally inspect the Pacific Grove hotel.  This notice posted by J. W. Foster, Assistant Manager

    Author’s Notes

    1. General Meyer had once commanded the Presidio of Monterey, and had recently returned as a visitor.
    2. The Review press was an Amanda Star operated primarily by an aging Negro called “Pimples”.

    References: Pacific Grove Review, Monterey Daily Cypress, Del Monte Weekly, Salinas Index, Monterey County Post, Bullions’ Grammar (1890).

     

    posted to Cedar Street Times on October 11, 2012

    Topics: High Hats and Parasols

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